Affirmation for U!

Affirmation! Affirmation!

Nung HS sinisigaw namin to pag may birthday ang classmate namin. This is a tradition that we really enjoy because it gives us a once a year opportunity to be openly praised, acknowledged and appreciated. Iba kase ang feeling kapag may mabubuting sinansabi ang iba tungkol sa 'yo. Sabi nga, nakakataba ng puso.

At dahil berdey ng friend ko at, well, technically, co-founder ng gus-station na si Sir Ulysses Dimatulac, I'd like to give an affirmation for him.

Ehem...There are actually a lot of things I could say about this guy. But if I have to choose among all those traits, I will choose to remember him because of these 5 characteristics!

Number 1. Makulit! To the highest level. But since affirmation to, I would be saying the beauty of his pagiging makulit. Yung kakulitan ni Sir Uly ay nakakatawa. Sa sobrang kulit n'ya ay matatawa ka na lang sa pinagagawa niya. Pag nagpauso yan ng expression, uulit ulitin n'ya yan buong araw hanggang sa pati ikaw sinasabi mo na. Also because of his kakulitan, he is able to get what he wants. Maabilidad kumbaga, pdeng salesman.

Number 2. Gifted! Siguro dahil sa dati siyang seminarian kaya parang lahat ay kaya niyang gawin. Bibbo! Parang Promil child! Musical instruments, sports, pagsusulat, pagbibigay ng talk at pati pagma-magic. Hanep sa talent! And not only does he know those things, he is good in it. Minsan nga pag may bday party pde na siyang substitute sa clown eh. Pero katulad ni Superman, may kryptonite din si Super Uly. Hmmm.....Secret nlng yun para may maisulat pa ko next year. He,he...

Number 3. Reflective! Probably that is why I was drawn to his personality. He always has insights on a lot of things and he takes every opportunity to reflect and to see God's message. Pati sa panaginip. I learn a lot of good things from him especially those which has to do with faith. Sayang nga at hindi masyadong nagsusulat sa blog si Uly eh kase magaganda talaga ang mga reflections n'ya. Balang araw magkakalibro 'yan. Title: God Allows U-Turn! He,he...Pwede!!!

Number 4. High Spirited! Grabe ang stamina nitong lalaking 'to. Parang nag ste-steroids. Maaksyon lagi. Basta asa mood siya, on the go yan. Walang sinasayang na sandali. Pag may activities, football game, game ang Ginebra, CL classes at pati sa pagpapatawa sa coor's area - to the highest level ang participation n'ya. Kaya niyang tapusin ang grades ng isang upuan, ubusin ang isang cake slice ng isang subuan at makapagsulat ng LP ng isang gabi lang. (Yung LP na pang isang sem ha) Kaya minsan nakakahawa din siya which is good kse you also imbibe his passion and love for his craft.

Number 5. Loving! Kahit na mapang-asar si Uly, mapagmahal siya. Pag mahal ka niya, mahal ka niya. Kaya suwerte ang mga naging girl friends n'ya kase grabe siya magmahal. Buhos, parang traffic! Kahit sa pamilya at mga kaibigan, mapagmahal at malambing siya. Of all the traits that I have shared, this probably is the one not seen by many. Hindi kse obvious. But he is. And I am thankful I have seen this side of him.

So there are my affirmations for you Uly. Happy, happy birthday. I am sorry that I forgot your birthday and that Gina still had to remind me about it (short term kase). Yet despite that, I hope I was able to make you smile with my affirmations. (Ayan ha, may blog entry na ko for you.) I pray for all your intentions and for your happiness. Enjoy your day and the rest of your year as a ____ year old! Happy Birthday My Friend!

MAGING SANTO!

November 1 and 2 are the dates where I am not so excited about. This is not the best time to watch films or TV shows, at least for me. In these days everything has to have some touch of horror, documentaries that feature ghost stories are being shown. I just don’t like watching such stuffs (ok I am afraid of it).

Halloween has been reduced to treat or trick, limited to wearing scary costumes. 'Trick or treat' may be an innocent fun to relish on the Halloween Day. But just think about a bunch of frightening fantasies and the scary stories featuring ghosts, witches, monsters, evils associated with it. Digging into its history helps sieve out the facts from the fantasies which caught us unaware. In old English the word 'Hallow' meant 'sanctify' or simply ‘holy’. Roman Catholics used to observe All Hallows Day to honor all Saints in heaven, known or unknown. We consider it with all solemnity as one of the most significant observances of the Church year. And Catholics, all and sundry, was obliged to attend Mass.

Thus we miss the point celebrating such a wonderful time if we would still be hooked with our usual Halloween beliefs.

What is the essence of Halloween then? I see it as a day of commemoration and visualization.

Commemoration to all who have stayed strong in their faith, to those who have run, finished the race and fought a good fight and by God’s grace and mercy is sharing their Master’s joy. We call them saints. So much has been said about saints, their life and works, but mind you there are a whole lot more of them whose names may not have been heard but all the same, wonderful in God’s gaze.

I still remember brother Elmer, a Salesian Brother, who would call us, reach for our shoulder and press it so hard until he hears the right word to complete the phrase “Maging _______.” Santo should be the word to spare us from that hard press on our shoulders. At times I would make a way to evade him to be spared from a bone wrecking thing or I would have to complete the phrase long before he presses my shoulder by saying, maging santo. I miss the press but I miss more saying the phrase maging santo. It makes so much sense to me now. How I wish you could do the same to my students, but I’ve got to be careful or else I’ll be charged with physical abuse. How I wish I could instill in their minds and hearts that it is every Christian’s call – to be holy, to be a saint. Holiness is not an option to those who follow Christ, it is our vocation.

Halloween is an invitation for all of us, having saints as our models, with them our deceased relatives whom we believe are with God, to be holy, to dream of being with God. Thus visualization, having an end in mind of being with God one day. How? By not just being a teacher but a holy teacher.. not just by being a doctor but a holy doctor.. not just being a priest but a holy priest, patterned after the holiness of Christ. Thus seeing the way Christ sees. Living the way Christ lives.

Maging Santo… Maging Kristo!

Balik Tanaw

Dati simple lang ang buhay,

Tulog, gising at konting tambay.

Ang katapat ng good trip, gala

Ang katapat ng bad trip, barkada.

May oras kang tumunganga

At sa kawalan ay tumanga

May panahon kang magsayang

Nang oras ng ‘di nanghihinayang

May mga bagay na hindi iniisip,

At iniiwan na lang sa panaginip.

May mga responsibilidad na pwedeng di intindihin,

At iwanan na lang nakabitin.

Eto ang mga bagay na p’de noon,

Ngunit imposible na ngayon.

Mga bagay na kung p’de lang

Ay ibalik ng panahon.

Kailan kaya magkakaroon nang pagkakataon

Ulitin ang mga bagay na nagpaligaya sa ‘yo noon?

Kailan kaya mauulit

Kaligayahang simple’t maliliit?

Kailan kaya makakamit

Kapayapaan nang walang kapalit?

Kailan kaya magiging NGAYON

Ang ilan sa iyong piling KAHAPON?

Farewell Mike (A Eulogy)

I do not know much details about Michael Oudenryn. I just knew him through the stories of Dora, his wonderful wife. I remembered hearing some personal stories from him but they were never very clear as he had difficulty speaking. I was with him only for a week. And even in those days, we didn't spend quite a lot of time. But the few that I know are significant because they made me appreciate and love him. Allow me to share then the "few yet meaningful things" I know about my foster dad, Mike.

• Mike loved Wee Waa. He loved the countryside. He does not want to stay in the city because it was too noisy for him. And life, he believed, is more peaceful in the countryside.
• Mike loved the fields (and the cows). When it had been very difficult for him to go out of the fields, he tended a garden instead. His family made a special plant area for him when he started having difficulty moving.
• Mike washed the dishes in the house. During our first night, I volunteered to wash the dishes but Dora told me not to because it was Mike's job. She said it gave him a chance to contribute, to do something in the house. Despite the difficulty, he still washed the dishes with joy.
• Mike liked rice. During our last day, we cooked rice for them and he said it was delicious. He finished his food. I saw how much he appreciated our amateur dish as if it was cooked by a pro.
• Mike never shown bitterness about what has happened to him. He was never shy to ask for help. He was never sad, never grumpy. He accepted all that has happened to him and had seemed to have even embraced it with such great joy.
• Mike was playful. One time when we were in a community dinner, I sort of arranged some star cut-outs into a smiley face. He played with me, collecting some more for me and putting some of it in his forehead(not so clear in his above photo). He looked silly, according to Dora. But for me, he was adorable.
• Mike loved Dora, a lot. Their house is like a cabinet display of beautiful memories. Wherever I go in the house, I saw marks of love. Despite his condition, I saw how he cared for Dora, how he held Dora's hand and how he peacefully sits beside Dora. And I saw how Dora loved him dearly. He must have been one great husband to have one great wife.

I never saw Mike nor Dora after that one fateful week in Wee Waa but they both remained dear to me. I did not have a chance to visit Mike when he's health is getting worse nor have I talked to him. All I had were emails and letters from Dora. It was sad because I can't be with him to show how I care for him, to try to make him smile even for a while nor to cook him a last rice meal. It was depressing because I had to grieve away from everyone else.

So allow me to just say these words to him (I believe that even blogs reach heaven!):

Mike, thank you for the life that you have allowed me to see. Thank you for accepting us in your home and for making us part of your family. Thank you because you made me feel very special in Australia. Thank you because you tried your best to entertain us even if it was difficult for you. Thank you because you played with me. Thank you because we were strangers yet you treated us like family.

I am sorry to not have been there for you. I am sorry to have not heard your last stories. I am sorry to have not shared more stories to you as well. I am sorry that I was not able to help Dora during those difficult times. For I know that even during your suffering, you were thinking of Dora and your family.

I know that you are in heaven, know that you are happy now. I know that you can read this and that you are smiling at this very moment. I know that you see my tears and you probably want to hug me. I have always missed you Mike, you and Dora. I had hoped to see you but it didn't come true. Maybe in a different time, in a different place.

Rest now Mike. Enjoy heaven. Reap the fruits of your wonderful life her on earth. I love you.

Hirap Maging Nanay

Kaya siguro hindi pa pinagaadya ng Diyos na maging nanany ako dahil alam Niyang hindi ko pa kayang maging isang ina. Haaaay!!! Alam kong mahirap maging isang ina noon pa man. pero ngayon ko lang talaga tunay na nakikita ang kahulugan nito. Ngayon na marami na akong kaibigan na nag-asawa at nagkaanak, mas nakikta ko ang realidad ng pagapapamilya. Ito ang ilan sa mga bagay na parang mahirap para sa aking gawin (sa ngayon):

1. Gumising sa disoras ng gabi para magpadede ng bata.

2. Buhatin ang bata maya't maya (masakit sa may scolio yun!).

3. Sipsipin ang sipon ng anak no pag nahihirapan siyang huminga.

4. Magpalit ng diaper.

5. Maging pasensiyosa sa pag-iyak ng bata.

Sa mga nanay na malamang sasabihin nilang ngayon lang yan. But these are genuine fears that single women like me feel. Yes, it may be something that we can face in time. Anyway, God made us to endure all these as would be mothers. But as for now, let me be weak in facing all of these. Let me say that I can't yet. Let time and experience show me how. Let love change my views and overpower my fears!

Yebaaaah!!!